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Looking for girlfriend > Looking for a girlfriend > Why you dont need a girlfriend

Why you dont need a girlfriend

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You can finally catch up with your hobbies and learn a language or just sit in a room with nothing to do, and no one to talk to, because everyone has a life and you are just sitting there thinking how awesome and lonely your life is. Girlfriends are expensive. Why would anyone in their right mind spend a lot of money on someone they love? And not to forget those expensive dates where you see those awesome movies and eat great food.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 BRUTAL Reasons Why You Will NEVER Have A Girlfriend

8 Reasons Why You Don’t Have the Girlfriend You’re Looking For

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By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. It only takes a minute to sign up. My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days.

Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and most times I do have time, too. I am fine if she then asks if we want to meet and I say "Yes". The circumstances I am not fine with meeting is if we met like four days in a row and over the weekend we often spend the whole 48h together and then her training got cancelled. On these occasions I do want to have some time for myself, e. Whenever I decline, it hurts her feelings.

I do understand that rejection hurts, so I would like to be able to tell her I don't want to meet without hurting her. She does know that I need from time to time a bit of time to relax for myself and she does understand it. I already thought about having her think about it, if I want to meet in that day by herself, but I think if she does this and comes to the conclusion that I don't want to meet, it will hurt her just the same. I am really out of ideas on how to handle these situations.

We are both from the same culture and country Germany. She is close to 20 and I am I already told her that I sometimes need time for myself it's not a scheduled meeting or something, it's my spare time. Having been here before myself, I think you need to realize what this means for your relationship.

You don't feel able to relax and have you-time with her around. This is probably because you place a set of responsibilities on yourself when you spend time with her, but also want to be able to shed those responsibilities at times and do what you're interested in without making her happiness your responsibility from moment to moment. That's fine, but I think that you also need to remember that one day, if the relationship goes really well, you will live in the same house and share a bedroom.

So I think it's important to ask yourself what aspects of your relationship stand in the way of you having you-time when she is physically present. Does she not enjoy or is actively critical of? If so, then I think you need to modify the dynamics of your relationship so that she understands that your hobby is important to you, and that if the two of you spend enough time together, you are going to spend some of that time doing a hobby she doesn't enjoy, and she can either join you or do something that interests her on her own.

Is she an extrovert being energized by attention while you are an introvert being exhausted by attention? If so you need to explain this to her. The following comic can be a helpful aid when having this conversation:. Are you placing mental demands on yourself, in her presence, that she doesn't hold you to? If so, then you need to acknowledge that and free yourself of your own expectations that are causing you to not enjoy too much time spent together, for the good of the relationship.

Remind yourself that if your putting this pressure on yourself requires time apart, and that hurts her, then the standard you're holding yourself to is actually hindering both of your enjoyment of the relationship. Ultimately, the key is honesty. Just tell her how you feel. If this is difficult for you, my experience is that if you just tell her that you're sorting out some feelings about your relationship, she will invite you to share them and genuinely want to hear them.

Most people will surprise you with how appreciative they are of honesty, even when you're being honest about something they dislike. The hurt feelings are temporary, but the trust your honesty builds is long-lasting. Just be sure that if you explain not just what you want, but why you want it.

You're redefining the relationship not because you're not happy with her, but because you want to create a dynamic between the two of you that can work for both of you long term. Let her know that you've been doing things just for her, and need to be allowed to do more for yourself, otherwise you don't think that the relationship can work, and you want to make it work. The changes actually represent a bigger commitment to her, not less of one, even though it means time spent together where you're less attentive toward her.

Be sure she understands that. Some people especially men have trouble talking about their feelings, but it's important to weave your feelings into such a conversation. Then I ask for time apart and feel guilty because I don't want to hurt you. Once they understand the emotions that motivate you, they don't feel that you pulling away is a symptom of emotional distance, just you needing something that they can give you to help the relationship.

They will appreciate you being honest about how you feel because it allows them to understand you better and trust you more. The long-term success of your relationship depends on how well the two of you, working together, can address exactly these types of issues.

If you plan to spend your lives together, you will have to be able to communicate how you feel about your relationship, what each of you want, and come up with an effective compromise together.

And the longer you wait to have this conversation, the more difficult it will be, because it will feel like more of a departure from your established way of being together.

Source: I did exactly this during a long-term relationship, and have learned from the mistake. When I was with her, I mentally put myself in "boyfriend mode" and after a few days, found myself wanting her to go away so I could just be myself again. In boyfriend mode I wouldn't participate in hobbies that we didn't share together. And I, an introvert, would make a best effort to keep up with her, an extrovert in social situations, which I found genuinely exhausting.

It wasn't fair to myself or to her, and deteriorated our relationship in the long run. After taking such a day in which you take some time for yourself, the next time you see each other do some of the following:.

Counteracting this seemingly negative situation you say "no" to an outing with a positive outcome you'll see that in time she will start to react differently.

That is because you've transformed it into something else, something somewhat positive. Me 22 and my boyfriend 21 have been together for 2 years now and this works for us when one of us is busy and we can't meet, but we compensate on a later occasion.

I'd suggest to be very careful when approaching this issue with your girlfriend. The truth is that you need your moments on your own and that you'd prefer not to meet "too often" because you want to manage some times for yourself.

You're perfectly right. However, telling her something like. What I suggest you is to plan a nice moment with her at some time you were not supposed to meet but she was available and wanted to , something like a dinner, and approach the issue with her.

I love you, and I love these moments I spend with you, but I also need some time on my own, so when you're free and weren't supposed to be, I'm a bit "annoyed" because I've already planned these activities I love to do alone.

I thought about this agreement we have about taking some time to play while we are together. What do you say we stop taking these moments and instead fully commit to each other while being together, so we can truly enjoy our free time on our own?

This obviously is a suggestion. I can't tell you you need to give up on these moments you've planned to play while together. But for the record, I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and we moved in together three months ago.

Before that, we didn't meet that often and the guy is a big fan of gaming, but never played while I was with him. It worked because we were meeting several times a week. Now that we live together we do commit to our own hobbies understand him playing and me reading while home and it's perfectly fine too.

But living together is a different adventure. I take personal time rather seriously and everyone else should too. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be together a set number of hours each week.

There is no quota to fill, like one of the other answers suggests. Indeed, when you are in a relationship, your actions affect your partner, and you really should be considerate to them, but that doesn't change the fact that you are different persons, each with your own friends, family, interests and personal time.

If you don't, that's also great! Thankfully, we are all grown-ups, and we should solve our issues as such. I mean by talking, of course.

You should explain that both of you should respect your respective boundaries and it doesn't mean anything if you simply don't want to meet on that day. That's how you should proceed, in my opinion: explain that to her and see how that goes.

Also, in my opinion, you should be aware of two things. They may or may not apply to your situation, from what I understood of it. You should be the one to decide that. Ignoring the other person, feeling apathy towards them and generally avoiding meeting them, may mean several things. Whether it means you are a jackass, or simply you aren't happy with your relationship and this is how your frustrations manifest, in either case you should deal with the issue, either by confronting yourself or your partner.

Usually with both causes there is a good chance you are both contributing to this situation. I don't think this applies to you, but your girlfriend may see things that way. If this happens, try to explain to her why she thinks that and maybe try to clear up a misunderstanding you both have.

Some people simply expect you to do exactly what they want. To get you to act that way, they will either guilt-trip you to do it or threaten you or use any other means they find, like reward systems.

This leads to sick relationships that usually harm both parties. Bear in mind though, the person who acts like that may have good motives. This may be the only way they know to express caring and love. Or due to their circumstances, they may desperately cling to you. They may simply not have anything better to do, but that isn't your problem. No matter the reason they cling to you, it isn't right or healthy, and it will not end well. Talk with her, be considerate and understanding, and remember that the lines between caring and possessive, between uncaring and wanting some personal space, are blurry, fragile and subject to personal opinion.

That's my two cents at least, might be wrong. Cheers, mate! I work a concentration intensive job and I'm introvert-ish regarding how I relax.

Why don’t I have a girlfriend? You asked Google – here’s the answer

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. It only takes a minute to sign up. My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days.

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You are feeling down, thinking that the problems you currently have will be fixed by a girlfriend. And I know how you feel. But before you jump into it, hear me out for a couple of minutes. In fact, here are 10 reasons you need to consider first before going into any relationship and getting a girlfriend. Even though you might be nodding your head in disagreement right now, you will be grateful for this advice in the future.

You Want A Girlfriend? Read This First

July 06, I'm not here to rip on women but it's obvious that attaining a great one is hard to come by. It's time consuming, expensive, and rather dramatic trying to attain a great woman. It's both a search, and a chase.. Reality is, us men just need to go to the bar, and simply choose the thing we so desperately desire - a great beer. My father once told me "son, don't chase women, make the women chase you. It makes sense - do you ever see how women flock to the lead-singer at a concert, or post on their Instagram MCM, hubby, and goals? I don't know if it's a bad attitude going to a bar and not chasing women for the fun of it - but is that really the best way?

Carrie’s Speaking/Worship Engagements

I don't want a girlfriend because that means I've got a responsibility. I have a responsibility to call you. I have a responsibility not to be with another woman. I have a responsibility to be there on time when you need me. Sign Up.

More than grades.

Music and reality TV have got the minds of the millennial males misconstrued. The media makes falling in love and spending time with someone you care about seem like a "bad" thing. We continuously read articles from people of this generation having such an "anti-relationship" mindset. This generation needs more love and less selfishness.

9 reasons you don’t need a girlfriend

Honesty is key to a healthy relationship, but how much info is too much? Having someone to talk to and confide in is one of the beautiful perks of being in a relationship. After all, honesty and communication are arguably the most important relationship skills of them all.

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No in between. The end. Signs point to no. Sort of, but mainly no. And what they were finding was this: whoa, weird, human beings actually respond when you talk to them? You have talked to them as though they were human?

14 Reasons Why You’ve Never Had A Girlfriend (And How To Get One)

Hello there! But being a domesticated, carnivorous animal with an acute sense of smell, of someone is the worst feeling. Now you simply cannot deny this fact! Ohh you forgot the expensive dates! All this expenditure for holding hands together and having those unrealistic talks? Its cool but who wants it?

Hi, I'm a 21 year old college student and there's this really hot girl who I'm interested in. She's good looking, athletic, has a great voice, and seems fun to be.

You keep many conversations going at the same time, with multiple women, and not a single one of them is just a friend — you openly flirt with them all. You go on a first date, and it goes well, but instead of asking her out again next weekend, you schedule another first date with somebody else. You just want to see what you might been missing out on before investing more time and effort into that first relationship. If your goal is a committed relationship with a serious girlfriend, you have to focus on one woman at a time.

I Dont Need No Girlfriend Quotes & Sayings

This happens so often to you that you start expecting women to stop texting you back or disappear into oblivion, because no matter what you do differently it always ends the same way. Guilty of pushing girls away at the last hurdle? Click Here to Jump to Reason 9. You will never know the truth of how a girl feels about you without talking to her.

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